Developing children for balanced adulthood
1. Use a NURTURING style of parenting instead of a CRITICAL style –
Critical – Be careful – your going to fall and have an accident.
Look what you are doing – you’re doing t all wrong. Give it here, I will do it properly
Nurturing: You can do it, you’re doing great, well done.
Keep trying, practice makes perfect. You can learn and master anything you put your mind to. It’s all about effort.
Critical parenting styles cause children to doubt themselves and become insecure whereas nurturing parenting styles teach children to become confident, capable and independent.
2. Teach children never to do anything that will bring shame upon them or their families. This helps them be family orientated and develop loyalty and respect for others.
3. Teach children to understand that everyone is born with a gift. (even if they can’t see it) Just because you are better at something than someone else doesn’t mean that you are a better person and also to know that no-one is better than you regardless of what gifts or abilities they have or how successful they are.
4. Teach children to develop empathy, which is to be able to understand the feelings of others. This is the most important trait a child should learn. A person with empathy will be more balanced, happier, develop better relationships, friendships and live a more stable life.
5. Teach children to know that they cannot always have their own way or to get what they want. Spoilt children grow up with too much expectation, and a lack of appreciation As adults they are likely to live a life of expectation, disappointment, and frustration. This can also cause them to become bullies and disliked by many.
6. Encourage creativity and imagination. Often adults call them daydreamers with a negative connotation and nothing could be further from the truth All great ideas start with a dream. This will develop a “thinking outside the box mentality”
7. Teach children to look at situations as a WHOLE and not IN PART. Just because something looks, sounds, feels or tastes good doesn’t mean it is good. Evaluating everything from all aspects will help make better more informed decisions.
8. Encouraging children to achieve with a reward is great but it must be underpinned with emotional support (otherwise you may create a narcissist.) Show your children lots of love and support as well as encouragement with reward. This will develop a drive with compassion and understanding.
9. Any children’s best efforts are always good enough regardless of how good or bad it is. When someone does their absolute best one should always be happy with the outcome. This will also teach them that it doesn’t matter what others think.
10. Allow your children freedom of speech and to articulate their feelings. Never punish them for this. Respect their honesty and encourage openness. This will allow you to know who your children are. Many parents do not know their children because they close up and lie as they fear the response or outcome.
11. Have clear boundaries and rules with children. Be clear what the boundaries are prior to a situation and make it clear what the consequences are if they are broken. Then they can only blame themselves if they break the rules. This will teach them responsibility and consequences.
12. Punishment is a necessary deterrent. It is taking something away or giving something but it must be fair to the cause and delivered instantly.