If you have friends, colleagues, partners or family members that are always judging or telling you what you should or shouldn’t do or that you are crazy, stupid or foolish every time you mention your plans or desires then you are living with Critical control.
Critical control is a form of bullying and it can have a profound effect on one’s confidence and happiness, especially if you are of a “People pleaser” type personality.
No one has the right to constantly critique you or tell you what you should be doing. If you want to move, have children, buy a dog, quit your job, dress differently, improve your speech, have plastic surgery or whatever it is you really want to do it has nothing to do with anyone else as long as it is within the realms of the law and you are not hurting anyone. And by that, I don’t mean hurting anyone else’s feelings!
What right do others have to tell you how to live.? Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with good advice and it is important to consider what others say so that you can be sure that you are doing the right thing but the final decision is up to you.
So what can we do about this?
1. Share this article so they can learn the negativity it causes and that it’s a form of bullying. Most will not be aware of this and it is not helpful.
2. Explain that you would prefer them to be supportive and being critical is the exact opposite.
3. Make it clear that you are living your life and from this moment on you will not accept any critical comments about your life or what you are doing.
4. If worst comes to worst distance yourself.
If you notice after reading this that you are using Critical control on others -Stop!
Live your life on your terms